I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
