I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize