At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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