her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
