Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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