Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
