Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We're too hungover to prance.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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