Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
