WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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