If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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