I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
