i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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