For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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