The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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