His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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