Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
