i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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