She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
