what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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