i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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