Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
