When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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