If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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