its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
