you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
