She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
