if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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