fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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