He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
