where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
