One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
