oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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