his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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