How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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