i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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