if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
