Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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