my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
