They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize