Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
