My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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