Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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