thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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