Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
