the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
