I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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