i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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