Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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