We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
