the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
