He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
