Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
