The maid of honor just puked.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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