Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
