Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I love having hate sex.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
