But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
