: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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