Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
