i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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