Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
