I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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