this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
