dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
