we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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