Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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